Preparing for a final farewell

Continuing on from my previous entry, last weekend went in a haze. Or better put, I was in a daze. Saturday we had to choose some clothes for Dad's body. Mum went home briefly. Then I had a visit from the daughter partner of the Funeral Director - Patsy. She came to pick up the clothes but ended up spending over an hour at our place talking. I gave her some background on Dad and his illness.
I sent various emails to inform people of Dad's death. Received a nice email message back from Harald. We had asked him to assist us with putting a notice in the local paper in Neuss so that all who know Dad would be informed. Harald was very happy to do this for his friend and he also insisted on paying for it. The notice was to go into the paper on Monday morning. I included a copy in an earlier blog entry.
At some stage I went shopping and bought 7 copies of the Age in case someone wanted to have a copy of dad's death and funeral announcements.
Mum went out with Peter and Natalie and then came back to stay with us on Saturday night.
Sunday morning Susie arrived. Helga came to visit. So did Gerd.
Then Greg Crawford who was to be the Celebrant for Dad's funeral, rang to discuss the service. He offered to write a Eulogy or to help us. He was also happy to read it at the funeral. We discussed amongst ourselves that we would prefer to do this for Dad. So we decided that some members of the family would write short passages of what Dad meant to them and Mum and I would put together a short history. We were told to aim for 3 to 4 pages, using large type.
We were all very eager to do this but nobody was in the right frame of mind to start it. In the evening my brother Peter joined us and in the end he got the ball rolling by writing the first Eulogy entry.
Eventually I created a list of jobs that had to be done before Tuesday and we all retired for the night.
Monday was a very busy day. But everyone helped and so we did get all the tasks done.
Gerd and I met Lisa from Syd Peek and Daughter (Funeral Director) at the cemetry and were able to choose a spot for Dad's grave. When we first arrived Lisa pointed out a spot near an entrance and the side gate. However Gerd and I spotted a nicer place further down under the trees by the bottom fence. Seemed peacefull and secluded. But when we looked back up towards the other area we noticed a dug out space and the fence looked like a car had hit it.
The entire area was planted with very tall Cypress pines. Lisa told us that the dug out space was where a tree had fallen over and hit the fence. And that they were planning to plant a new tree in the same spot. Then as we discussed this it seemed good to have Dad's body put to rest with a new tree planted next to him. So we changed our mind and chose the original spot. Eventually sometime in spring the tree will be planted and there will be nobody between Dad's grave and the tree.
The reason the idea of the tree appealed to me was because of a conversation we had with Mum the night before. She told us that when it is time for her own burial she wants a few Poplar trees buried with her so that in time a poplar tree can grow out of her grave. Well...since this is a lawn cemetry where the graves do not have any plants but just a simple plaque, I felt the tree beside the grave was the next best thing.
It is amazing that we managed to get a grave in this cemetry. It is a very old cemetry. Gerd and I saw graves there dating back to 1850. And up to a few years ago it was totally closed, no more plots left to sell. As the cemetry is just around the corner from Mum's place she had hoped that one day her and Dad would be buried there. A few years ago a new section was added as a lawn cemetry and we were told that there were only 10 plots left when we enquired. Each plot has enough space for 2 coffins and 3 urns. Gerd has already put in an expression of interest for one of the urn spots :-) Unfortunately they no longer allow people to pre-purchase plots at that cemetry or Dennis and I would have bought another plot. As we don't want to be cremated we will have to go elsewhere!
Susie and Mum did the shopping. Gerd helped Dennis to clean up the yard. I tidied up inside the house to get the place ready for after the funeral. When I finished tidying up I felt we needed some flowers to brighten up the place. I had no sooner thought this than the doorbell rang and a huge arrangements of flowers was delivered to our door. It was sent by one of Sue's friends. A few minutes later one of the ladies from our church arrived with a beautiful arrangement of orchids. And then shortly after that arrived another very large arrangement from my colleagues at Shell. Literally within 1 hour the house was filled with flowers without me even leaving the place!
In the afternoon Peter turned up with a very large box of chocolates and a large card. We wrote some words of thanks for the staff at the Austin Hospital and delivered the card and chocolates to the Ward where Dad spent so many months.
Susie picked up Max from the airport in the afternoon. Then Gerd and Peter went and bought Pizza's for dinner. I ordered 8 not knowing how large they would be. So we had a MOUNTAIN of pizza's that were hanging around in the fridge for several days until finally Mum took home the rest for the dogs!
At some stage the hospital rang to let me know that the autopsy results would not be ready for several weeks.
Lots of phone calls. Lots of email messages and eventually we must have gone to bed. Peter had volunteered to pick Robert up at the airport at 5:15am. He didn't get any objections from anyone. We planned for an early start the next day.