God be with you till we meet again!

It is Tuesday 12th July, 2005. We woke up early at around 6.30am. Dennis went for his usual walk and I decided to wash the floors before anyone else woke up to give them time to dry. As soon as Dennis left I did a quick vacuumm and then started mopping. Halfway through this exercise the doorbell rang and there stood Peter and Robert. I quickly woke up Mum and made some coffee before finishing the floors. Robert had flown in from Darwin and looked quite exhausted. He didn't sleep much on the plane.

Shortly after Dennis came back, Gerd joined us and Gerd and I headed to Office Works to make copies of the Eulogy. We also had some copies made of a photo of Dad which was taken by Natalie on Christmas Eve. Dad looked very happy in this photo so we decided it would look good with the Eulogy. It didn't take very long to get all the copies made. We returned home and by this time Susie and Max had arrived.

Susie, Max, Gerd and I then headed to Preston to a chapel owned by the Funeral Directors for a final viewing of Dads body. Gerd and I were a bit concerned because of the autopsy. The doctors told us that there would not be any visible scars however we were still nervous. As we entered the Funeral Directors foyer and then the chapel we were greeted by Lisa. And I got quite a shock when she told us that the casket was at the front, ready for the viewing. Somehow I had not seen it on entering the chapel. Gerd and I went over to check it out. Dad looked absolutely peacefull and so much younger than when we had seen him in hospital. I could at first not believe it was him. I guess he must have had makeup on. But the hair and the eyebrows matched. Max told us later that after death rigor mortise takes all the wrinkles out of the skin. I guess that with together with the makeup accounted for the transformation. He looked very handsome. When we saw him in hospital his mouth was open. Someone had closed it. And he appeared almost to be smiling. Only his face and the top of his shirt were visible. The rest were covered with a lace cloth and the lid of the coffin was hiding most of his body.
The coffin was a dark wood and had a beautiful bright selection of roses (called autumn selection) on the top. It looked quite stunning. A shiny silver cross decorated the lid. I now have this cross as a memento. The picture above is from a brochure. Same coffin and same floral display however the roses on Dad's coffin were a much brighcolor colour. It didn't seem right to take a photo at the time.

Dads body looked quite different to when we last saw him in hospital on the morning of his death. There it was natural and he looked asleep. Here it didn't look quite right. More like a wax figure. He looked beautiful but very dead. There was no doubt about it. This was an empty shell and its owner was missing. He had moved out and on. It was sad but also a relief. If he wasn't in residence he had to be elsewhere. This is the second time that viewing a body I had a strong sense of vacancy. The owner had moved out and taken his personality with him. The body did not define the person. What was missing was his spirit.

But it was sad to know that he was no longer so easily reachable. There will be no answers to questions that had not yet been asked. No more stories to listen to. I am glad that I went to the viewing but the picture of how he looked has already left my memory. I see Dad not like a corpse but like a living body. I have many images in my mind of wonderful moments shared. And in those memories Dad continues to live on as he was then. I am glad we have no photos of the last few months showing Dad at his worst. We have many beautiful photos showing Dad enjoying life and the company of his family.

For Susie this was a much harder experience than for Gerd and I. She had not seen Dad recently and now he looked beyond her reach. She wanted to wake him up and tell him to come back. Susie, Max and I left. Gerd stayed behind to wait for Linda and his children.

We returned home and got ready for the funeral. More and more people started to arrive. We had decided to meet at our place and car pool to the cemetry, seeing it is only 5 minutes up the road.

We arrived at the cemetry to check that everything was going to plan. The funeral directors staff were already there. We met the celebrant for the first time. He had a chance to study the eulogy. Gerd had prepared a CD with Dads favourite music that was played as background music. A canopy had been erected next to the grave in case of rain. A dozen chairs were also set out. The hearse with Dads coffin had arrived and we joined the rest of the family at the cemetry entrance to give the funeral directors staff time to prepare the site.

And soon it was time to gather at the grave. Everyone arrived on time and we had quite a number of friends and family members. I felt extremely nervous because of the eulogy we had to read. So I prayed that all would go well. It was good to have so many people there to support us and to pay their respects. Peter has a good description of the service on his blog. All I want to add is that I found the service very intimate and beautiful. We were sad but not devastated. It was a fitting celebration of Dads life. And what came across to me is that his life is continuing in the things he taught us and in the qualities that we have inherited from him.

There was a sense of Dad having gone ahead of us. Not a final good bye after all but more "auf wiedersehen" a feeling of we will meet again. What came to my mind that day and also for the next few days were the words of the following Hymn:

God be with you till we meet again; by His counsels guide, uphold you; with his sheep securely fold youtillod be with you til we meet again. Till we meet, till we meet, till we meet at Jesus' feet. Till we meet, Till we meet, God be with you till we meet again.

Most people joined us at our house afterwards. It was so good to be surrounded by family and friends on this long day. We were able to talk and find comfort. We are so grateful also to the ladies of our church who provided the refreshments and helped us during the day.

At one stage I was talking to one of our friends that it was such a pity that the first occasion we had in our newly renovated house was Dads funeral instead of his homecoming. I found myself saying that Dad never even saw the house we had prepared for him. And at that moment I felt a shiver going through my body and suddenly I knew beyond any doubt that Dad was with us right there and then. That indeed he had seen the house. Seen the many people who came to pay their respects and to comfort his grieving family. That he rejoiced with us as we celebrated his life and that he truly is at peace knowing that we are strong and able to continue on. He is in a better place. No more suffering. He is preparing for our homecoming and then there will be celebrations without end.

And his words to all of us are: GOD BE WITH YOU TILL WE MEET AGAIN!